WHO IS TO BLAME?

A teenage girl had committed suicide after being gang raped by three boys in Okwoyi village, Isieke community in Umuahai North Government Area of Abia State.

Comfort Uche-Ume, was allegedly raped by three boys, Ndubuisi, Chinaza, and Francis who are now on the run.  Comfort was a JSS 3 student of Isieke Community Secondary School and has just finished writing the ‘Junior WAEC exam, at the time of incidence.

It was also reported that, two of the culprits hail from Okwoyi while the other is from Ikwuano LGA. The victim who until her death resided at Iyienyi village with her parents had gone in the company of her sister who was married at Okwoyi, a neighbouring village to see her (sister) husband. He said that as evening approached, the deceased opted to return home to remove the clothes they spread outside to save them from getting wet form the rain. But another source said the deceased decided to return home because she was having the key to their house, so that her parents who had been away would not be stranded upon their return.

The Police Public Relation Officer said the deceased was trekking back to Iyienyi village alone; she was allegedly accosted by Ndubuisi who had been making advances at her. He said Ndubuisi was assisted by two other accomplices, dragged the victim to a nearby bush where they gang-raped her, threatening to kill her if she raise any alarm. The police said when the sister of the deceased returned home, she met her crying and after enquires, Comfort narrated her ordeal to her.

Irritated by the sexual assault on her sister, she was said to have informed her husband, who quickly rushed to confront one of the suspects and engaged him in a free-for-all (fight).

According to the police, the victim was later brought to Umuahia Central Police Station around 9pm by her parents to officially report the matter.

Onyeke said after lodging the complaint, the police first decided to take the victim to the police clinic for examination and medical attention.

He said after she was examined and the police wanted to take her statement, but the parents pleaded that they should be allowed to take her home, promising to return the next morning since it was getting late so that they could still get transport home. 

 “But instead of returning as they promised, the parents never showed up. The mother of the deceased rather decided to scold her over the incident. The mother mismanaged the situation. She said to her ‘Have I not warned you not to go to Okwoyi village alone? Now three men have raped you and if you become pregnant, who will be the father of the baby? The next day, the mother of the victim allegedly went to her room again and started talking to her. She later invited her for the family’s morning devotion, but she declined,”

The state police spokesman pointed out that when the family began to hold their morning devotion about 20 minutes later, a shout was heard outside the house and the family members rushed out.

According to him, the initial thinking of family members was that the rapists had come to attack her again. But that was not to be as they were shocked to their marrows to see the lifeless body of their daughter, who was reportedly seen leave her room with a head tie/ veil across her shoulders, dangling on a guava tree beside their house. She had committed suicide!

Police said the deceased might have decided to take her life out of frustration and possible stigmatization.

The PPRO, therefore, advised parents and guardians to exercise caution when “they manage sensitive situations that might come their way, especially the ones affecting their children or wards.” He said, “Parents should avoid stigmatising their children, but treat them with love anytime such unfortunate situation comes up.”

Onyeke also appealed to members of the public with any credible information about the whereabouts of the alleged rapists to volunteer same to the nearest police station for prompt action.

Meanwhile, a source at Okwoyi told our correspondent that the villagers had begun a manhunt for the suspects. The source said hunters had been mobilised to comb every nook and cranny of the village for their possible arrest.

The question one ask is who is to blame for Comfort’s untimely death? Is it Comfort (the deceased), who unfortunately took her own life for fear of stigmatisation, or the mother who never stopped blaming and condemning her daughter for the misfortune that befell her. 

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Story: PunchNg

The Teens' World

Photo : ThisDay

The teens' world is full of so many acts. As a matter of fact , one can say all manner of immoral acts are found among the teenagers nowadays.

Teenagers are now exposed to all kinds of immoralities like: involving in pornographic images and videos, intake of hard drugs, consumption of alcohol, premarital sex, abortion, homosexuality and so on.

 I begin to ask myself some questions like: What are the things responsible for this mishap in the world today? Whose responsibility is it to ensure that a teenager's lifestyle is under control? Who is to blame for a teenager's misconduct? Do we still regard the youths of today as the leaders of tomorrow? What is our hope for the future in a world where activities such as: killing, armed robbery and kidnapping amongst others, are mostly carried out by teenagers? Can there be any solution(s) to these problems? If yes, What is (are) the solution(s)?

Kindly post your comments, opinions and suggestions in the box below.

Some Causes of Conflict between Adults and Teenagers

Many times we face difficulties in raising a teen age boy or girl. To many people, teenage seems like an age where a child or ward becomes uncontrollable. A child with this tag remains so until he or she becomes wayward eventually.
But it beats me to know that parents or guardians have not taken time to find out the reason why the child is, or seems to be out of control as the case may be.
For anyone who cares to know, here are some tips on the causes of conflicts between adults and teenagers.  This piece may help you (adult) to have an understanding of the general problems teenagers face, and how best to address these problems.
1)      Paradigm: This simply means the way you see him/her, your point of view, or belief. Your paradigm may create limitation; it may also make you view your teenage child wrongly.  In other words, if you believe he’s dumb, you will always look for evidence to support your belief, find it, and he’ll remain dumb in your eyes. You may observe that, such child may make an effort to adjust, to see if you can change/shift your paradigm, but it seem like it’s not working. The result of his/her fruitless effort may be in two ways, it is either he/she decide to continue to remain adamant on the same thing you complain about every time or he/she hates you for not seeing the good in him/her and not realising and appreciating his/her effort to become a better person.
2)    Communication: Some adults are seen as enemies instead of allies. They communicate negatively and give commands, and ‘I told you so’ lines. They make rules and enforce their rules on them, this only make them feel they are seen and treated as little children, whereas, they are already seeing themselves as young adults. The adult’s order/rule therefore, may be dishonoured and disobeyed, and the result of this is conflict.
Also some adults love to prove that they are always right. They disregard the opinion of the teenage boy/girl. His/her opinion or input in matters is irrelevant. An issue that concerns him/her is not really important. They are of regular response that, “that can wait till I’m back from work, church, etc”.
It is worthy of note that, one who perpetually shuns a teenager should get ready to have the child go out of control, after which conflict sets in.
3)    Ingratitude or lack of appreciation: Some adults (parents, guardian elderly ones) find it difficult or better put, needless to show some appreciation to a teen age child for an effort, he/she has put in to achieve a particular task, in school, at home, in religious gathering and even to another older person. This may really hurt and discourage the child from being well-behaved or productive in subsequent time; meanwhile the adult may look forward to seeing another great performance from the child.

Credit: www.fumsyluv.wordpress.com (Funmi Stevens)

Responsibility and Excuses

Responsibility and Excuses

What is Responsibility?

Responsibility is being accountable for who you are and what you do. It is being dependable and trustworthy. Someone who is responsible does his/her best and doesn't blame others for his/her mistakes. A responsible person makes sure a job is done correctly and on time. Also a person who is responsible has a moral duty to follow through and complete assigned tasks shows that you are responsible.

How to be responsible

* Find out what needs to be done and do it.

* Complete a task without being asked.

* Understand and accept the consequences of your actions.

* Think before you act.

* Do your best.

* Clean up after yourself even if no one is watching.

* Always try to do the right thing.

* Follow through and don't give up.

Excuses

Children who see themselves as victims and are allowed to continue that rationale have a tough time achieving the very difficult milestones that early life development demands. Children shouldn’t be allowed to blame other people, places or things for not meeting expectations or completing tasks. In reality, when a child blames someone else, he’s saying “It’s not my responsibility because I’m a victim of that person, label, or thing.”

Parents can also deal with some social situations like saying: “blaming your sister for why you hit her doesn’t solve the problem of ‘no violence in our home,’ and you know the consequences for hitting.” Ensure that you have your child perform those consequences immediately. Consequences for inappropriate behaviors should be clearly stated and understood by everyone before incidents occur. Remember, consequences are the results of poor choices, and not the punishment for bad behavior.

On the other hand, when parents make excuses for their children, it’s a way that they minimize the problems their children are having. Often, excuses are simply the explanations. The parent sends a note to school saying, “Richard wasn’t feeling well. Please accept his lateness to (or absence from) school.” That’s fine. But parents of children with behavioral problems are forced to make explanations every day, and these explanations transform into excuses for the child’s behavior. They excuse the child’s refusal to do schoolwork at home. Some parents even make excuses for the child fighting and arguing with other children, both in and out of the house. They make excuses for the child’s rudeness. Although, some cases are very understandable, for instance, in a case of divorce or parents are having problems, which manifest themselves in the behavior of the children, also parents trying to explain that their child’s unwillingness or inability to perform as expected is as a result of disability or mental diagnosis.

Teenagers' Major Problems

1. Peer pressure
2. Bullying
3. Cyber addiction
4. Drinking and Smoking
5. Underage sex
6. Teenage pregnancy
7. Depression
8. Self-esteem and Body Image
9. Stress
10. Child abuse

 
 
Usually, children between the ages of 13 and 19-years-old face the above stated problems, as it could be said that teen age is the most awkward growing stage of life. At this stage, teenagers are exposed to both overwhelming external and internal challenges. Despite this fact, teenagers are expected to cope with hormonal changes, puberty, social and parental forces, work and school pressures. 

Needless to say, teenagers feel overwhelmed when they are faced with unprecedented stresses concerning school and college, and career confusion situations. Moreover, children who have absentee parents such as the case of death or divorce are exposed to more unfavorable states of life. 

Truthfully speaking, the challenges that teenagers face vary, but these issues can be addressed easily if only parents and other guardians can understand the symptoms of the particular child's problems. Parents/ Guardians are expected to approach their children, who have been suffering from one or more teenage problems, carefully and in a friendly manner to discuss the problem(s). 

Researches have shown that in some teenagers feel misunderstood, while some others feel their needs, is less important. It is therefore important to note that, parents/guardians should ensure that teenagers are made to realize that they (parents/guardian) are interested in the their affairs at every given time. 

There should be no reason for a teenager to be seen or treated as an outcast either by the parent or guardian, regardless of the offense committed. Everyone who has grown to be an adult has passed through the teenage stage, and you will agree with me that most of these adult were not saints.

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