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Abiola (Bigwig) in the studio

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Somebody Help!

This issue has remained more controversial in the world today than it was in the time past. There is need for someone to shed a light on it and help the young and old adults to understand how to deal with it.

Teaching Teens Financial Literacy

Believe it or not, good money habits learnt early in life can save your child from bankrupt. 

 Apart from the allowance from parents, teenager may be interested in earning more money through occasional odd job. Although, this has been associated with negative effects on a teenager, but there are also some benefits of doing a part time work. It can provide a teenager with a source of income, career guidance, independence, real-life experiences, responsibility, the chance to develop interpersonal skills in the workplace, the opportunity to learn new skills and time management experience.

However, as said earlier one should note that there are also drawbacks to working. Teenagers who work - especially those who work more than 20 hours per week - may have a harder time completing their school work, may have lower grades in school (often due to fatigue and lack of preparation), may have increased stress (trying to "fit it all in") and may develop a negative view of education. Naturally, the negative aspects of working are not one-size-fits-all, and while one teenager may suffer in school because of a job, another might thrive because of a growing sense of independence and accomplishment. Because no two kids are alike, it is important for parents to be aware of how work may be affecting each child. Therefore, in this regard making any changes to the job and scaling back hours is necessary.

On this note, we’ll be examining financial literacy for teenagers and the role of adults in monetary education.

Is it really important to educate a teen age child on money? 

People talk about how important it is to teach teenagers sex education but little or nothing is usually said about monetary education for teens.

For many adults, however, talking about money is like to talking about challenging subjects. Unsure of where to begin and worried about saying the wrong thing, many adults simply avoid conversation about money. It is often made worse by adults’ lack of confidence in their own handling of finances.

Truthfully, the role of financial educator falls primarily on parents, guardians and other adults in the home. Teach your children financial principles in accordance with their age’s void of complicated explanation of income tax, stock market or economics.  We need to derive methods on how we can make it fun, keeping it as simple as possible, and not bore them with too much details like poor state of economy that easily disrupt the message you are trying to pass across. 


These are some tips for financial literacy and management for teenagers:

1)   Teach your teenager how to give God and the poor from his/her allowance/income (tithe, offering and  alms giving).

2)      Involve your teenager in financial planning and budgeting.

3)      Take him/her along with you for shopping.

4)     Show your child how to spend money and make choices. Consequently, he/she will imitate your attitude towards money and its use.

5)     By example, showing your child how to be responsible with money (that is, being responsible with money should start from you).

6)  Ensure that he/she realize that there are different brands and price options, by doing so; you are developing your child to become a critically skilful customer as he/she grows old.

7)     Let your teenager know that you are not picking/buying a good because of the name of the brand, but it is because of the value. That is to say, when choosing a brand of product, it must be worth its cost.

8)    Advise him/her to judiciously manage his/her money well to avoid borrowing and getting into debt, also educate him/her on the consequences of getting into a habit of debt.

9)    Explain to your teen age child how to differentiate between needs and wants, and how to attend to need before want.

10)  Give him/her pocket money and encourage him/her to budget, put aside some for savings and buy some things for himself/herself and give an account of how the rest is spent. As a result of this, the child is given the sense of responsibility, independence, and prudent spending.

11) Above all, open a savings account in his/her name, ensure that he/she pays at least part of his/her allowance into the bank, or part of the earnings from the part time job. This will give your child knowledge of banking system, as well as, prevent unnecessary spending due to excess cash available at hand.

12)   Emphasize that money saved is not to be withdrawn without a pressing need and a reasonable purpose.

Now, what's your take on this?

Children born in the 80s and early 90s, who became exposed to internet/social networking services such as Facebook, Twitter, YouTube , LinkedIn, Google+, Pinterest, Instagram, among others at age 20 and above, are academically and morally better than those who are exposed to the same in their teenage years. True or False? And why?

These are some people's views and opinions:

Tosin Gbogi -  “I think those of us exposed to it at age 20 plus are better, these kids exposed to it in their teens are worse I believe. The more you have of internet and social networking sites. The more distracted and confused you become” 

Odun – “from my point of view, children exposed to the internet and social networks are better. They are vast in knowledge because they flow with the trend of new ideas and information on the internet, while children of the older age (20 +) strive to keep themselves up to date regularly.

Your opinion counts, please.

Click on the 'comment' link to send your comment .Thank you.

8 Amazing Ways to Enhance a Good Relationship between Adults and Teens.

Paradigm Shift: It means a change in the basic assumptions. You may need to change your view about your teenage child, don't be quick to judge, label, or form rigid opinion of your child. Calling a teenage child "Dummy"... "bad boy/girl ...", these are bad labels.

Please note, parents' words are like word of God to a child. If you label a child as a "jerk", "brat" or baby, he is likely to believe it's true. Negative labels assault a child's personality rather than just a specific behaviour; his/her self esteem will be diminished. Labels tend to become self-fulfilling prophecies. The child who is told she is "clumsy" might avoid dancing or playing sports. The child labelled "shy" may seek to avoid contact with peers and adults.

Help your child by directing his/her attention to a particular behaviour that needs changing. e.g "This room is getting messy!" "The paper and pen you left on the floor need to be picked up now."

Be positive. Open your mind to new things about him/her. Little do you know that your concepts are often incomplete, inaccurate and completely messed up, so be willing to change your concept when it becomes clear that you are wrong.

Communication: Adults should be seen as allies and not as enemies. Your teenage boy/girl wants you to communicate positively and avoid 'I told you so' lines. Discuss the reason for your rules and establish them, set limits also, and ensure that they conform to those rules. This will tackle the problem of the out of control teenager.

Endeavour to carefully choose your words when communicating with a teenage child. At times, words can injure our children deeper than a slap. Many of the seemingly harmless words that so easily pop out of our mouths like "why can't you be more like your sister", can cause lasting & severe emotional injury and chip away the child's self-esteem. The words parents use form the basis of a child's sense of self. Words are like mirror reflecting back to our children vital information about who they are and what they will become.    

It's easy to verbally harm our children in subtle ways, often in the mistaken belief that we are doing what is best to teach them to behave. Most children are resilient and can handle an occasional hurtful comment from their parents. The more we are aware of potentially harmful statements, the more likely we will be to find other ways to influence our children. If you also use words like "You should be ashamed of yourself - you're acting like a baby!" ... "I can't believe that you're afraid of a little kitten". This is a shaming and harmful statement, a child is made to feel defective and inadequate about a mistake or misdeed. A shaming word demoralizes a child rather than empowers him/her to change. Some parents publicly humiliate a child by pointing out his/her weaknesses, for example, laziness, bed-wetting, and so on to others. Shame tends to lead to a compelling urge to hide or withdraw from the adult.

Lastly, let the child know that you don't always have all the answers and you too are not always right. Take his/her opinion and help whenever needed. Always take your teenage child's input on what concerns him/her. Don't use harsh or negative words on him/her.

Appreciation: Be graceful enough to thank and appreciate him/her at every possible occasion and teach him/her to do so.

Mode of correction: As discussed in causes of conflict between adults and teens, punishment and discipline are two different things. It's advisable to adopt the method of discipline rather than punishment. Discipline is a loving way to show children your desire to keep them safe, to teach them to make a healthy choices for themselves, and to gain independence. It focuses on teaching the child new skills, such as how to manage his/her behaviours, solve problems, and deal with his/her feelings. It also focuses on training them to learn from their mistakes and find  better ways to solve problems in the future.

However, please note that there are a lot of different discipline options parents can use to manage behaviours. Each child is unique and discipline techniques that should be tailored to meet your child's specific needs. Discipline strategies that work for one child may not work for another.  

There are plenty of effective discipline strategies that parents can use to teach their teenage children to become responsible adults. An age appropriate discipline help them feel secure in their relationship with others and promote healthy self-esteem. Discipline may include some proactive ways to promote new skills by the use of praise or reward. Above all, it helps foster a positive relationship between children and adults.

Attention: Willingness to listen to teenagers' point of view and giving it a good thought before it is trashed, is an encouraging and supportive attitude that means a lot and it goes a long way.

Apart from that, if you want to achieve a good relationship between you and your teenage child, there is a great need for you to create time for him/her. The child needs someone to find out how his/her day went, what was his/her experience in school (good/ bad), be concerned enough to know about his/her relationship with classmates, friends, teachers/lecturers and even school administrators, and of course, it is not too much to ask if there was any embrassing moment in the course of the day's activities.

Showing interest in his/her social life and activities, you may also want to know the new thing(s) or even slang(s) he/she learnt while chatting with his/her friends.

It's not a waste of time to sit with him/her and have about 15 to 20 minutes heart-to-heart talk. However, it can only be possible if you have created an atmosphere for that already. Let him/her have a feeling that he/she's chatting with a friend who will not yell on him/her after opening up, or look for an opportunity to use his/her confession against him/her, especially whenever there's an argument or conflict between them.

Sensitivity: Look out for signs of stress. It may be fear of failure, which could also mean anxiety; which is the greatest reason for stress, address them immediately by helping him/her to build self esteem. Be sensitive to his/her lack of concentration (academically, etc), poor food intake, poor oral and personal hygiene, disturbance in sleep, dropping or reduction of interest in social activities, it could be teenage depression, get professional help, or develop some techniques to program his/her mind, you could also teach the child self affirmation to overcome this.

As well, teaching him/her techniques of goal achievement, helps the child break down goals into smaller, achievable modules and this will definitely take much of the stress out his/her life.

Comparing: "Why can't you be more like your sister? .. "When I was your age, I used to walk three miles to school." When you tell your child that he/she isn't as well behaved or high achieving as his sister, consequently, you sow the seeds to resentment and bitter rivalry between your children. Children should not feel they are in competition with other family members because one will inevitably feel devalued and inferior to others. Even positive comparisons can backfire. When you say, "You're better in tennis than your brother," you instil competitive feelings and discord among siblings.

High Expectation/Perfectionism: Expecting the teenager to excel in academics, get good grades, be the child of their expectations - well behaved, responsible for themselves and sometimes for their younger siblings and bring in great compliments (awards) from extracurricular activities - is in itself enough pressure.

For instance, some parents would say "How come you only came in second?" ... You only got a 97 on your exam? What happened to the other three points?". Perfectionist parent push or pressurize their children to be the best soccer player and/or get straight A's in school. The message behind the demand is, "You are not good enough the way you are. To hold children to unrealistic expectations only lead to their loss of self-confidence.

We should also realize that it's often not the best grades that guarantees success.

Better still, focus on the positive traits displayed by the child. To put emphasis on the positive, you minght say things like, "Nice work on getting so many A's on your report card, " or You really ran a good race. You started strong and finished with a burst of speed."

On a final note, always ensure that you tell and show your child that you love and care about him/her.

     

Causes of Conflict between Adults and Teens by Funmi Stevens

Mode of correction:  Punishing teenagers does not really work. Disciplining teenagers does. Punishment and Discipline are two different things. Punishment casts away, inflicts a penalty for an offense, it handles roughly; it hurts. While discipline corrects to protect; trains and expect to produce a specific character or pattern of behaviour, especially training that produces moral or mental improvement.

There are basically four kinds of punishment

a.      Physical punishment – slapping, spanking, switching, paddling, and using a dangerous object.
b.    Verbal punishment – shaming, ridiculing, using cruel words,saying “I don’t love you.”
c.     Withholding rewards – “You can’t watch TV if you don’t do your homework.”
d.      Penalties – “You broke the window so you will have to pay for it with money from your allowance.”

Truthfully, none of the above mentioned punishment can work for teenagers. But it is quite unfortunate that, most adults or better put, parents/guardians use these methods a lot. A child who frequently receives punishment is likely to grow up to be hostile and aggressive.

Also a child, who receives punishment, often focuses on how angry he/she is at the parents rather than thinking about how he/she can learn from his/her mistake. Parents who provide punishments are also inconsistent most of the time which can be quite anxiety-provoking for the child.

Inattentiveness: As mentioned earlier when I was discussing communication as one of the causes of conflict between adults and teens. Inattentiveness brings about shunning.

Furthermore, according to the definition in Collins English dictionary, to be inattentive means “not paying attention; heedless; negligent”.

Some adults cannot afford to spare their time to spend it with their teenage children. They are too full of activity, they claim that their job is highly demanding, and it is with the job they feed and take care of the family. So they cannot afford to be preoccupied by the affairs of any child. They tend to say, “he/she is grown now and can take care of himself/herself, after all, he/she is 15, 16, 17, 18 or even 19, how long will I continue to spoon-feed him/her like a kid. He/she has to learn to take decisions and be responsible for his/her actions”, without taking time to guide the child, showing interest in his/her personal life (stuffs about his/her academics, friends, religion, etc.),  readiness to be attentive and give answers to his/her questions and never get tired of his/her curiosity (inquisitiveness).

Well then, as a matter of fact such statements and attitude from adult will only give room for the child to become wayward and totally uncontrollable, since there has never been any guidance from the beginning when he/she need an adult most.

The child becomes bad, and the adult see him/her as that. However the adult may at one time or the other, try to control the child, in an effort to make him/her live right, then rules are made and enforced.

At this stage, the result you will get is a conflict between an adult trying to forcefully change a child who is already grown enough to know what he/she wants and a teenage who cannot afford to be treated like a kid.

Insensitivity: Simply put, it’s the lack of sensitivity to the feelings or circumstances of others. Teenagers face some general problems like, stress, bullying, depression, cyber addiction, drinking and smoking, teen fear of failure, low self-esteem as a result of intimidation,struggle for recognition and acceptance by theirpeers, plummeting (dropping or reducing) of interest in social activities, pregnancy, underage sex, child abuse, peer-pressure and competition, eating disorders,

An involvement of a child caught in any of the above mentioned act should be traced to the insensitivity of the adult who should be responsible for him/her. I am of the opinion that if adults are sensitive enough, a teenage child will be curbed early enough before he/she gets deeply involved.    

The outcome of insensitivity is nothing else but trouble. That is, now you’ll have the adult reacting to and displaying an aggression about his/her teenage child’s reckless or unsuitable life, while the child on the other hand, finds it rather difficult to let go of his/her long-adopted  way of life, which has become part of him/her. 

Also, insensitivity can lead to separation between an adult and the child. They’ll find themselves on two parallel lines that never meet. The child becomes angry at the adult for not being sensitive enough to take note of his mood (in the case of mood swing) or depression. These could lead to an unpleasant attitude from the child, while an insensitive adult in return complain or yell at the child. In some cases, the adult ignores the teenage child, thereby making the latter become angry with the former. 

Consequently, the child may decide to express his/her unpleasant feeling by one way or the other (such as abandoning his/her chores, etc.) with an intention to displease the adult. 

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